11:30 p.m.

so it's 11:30 at night, evalie is fast asleep, and here i am. watched a few episodes of sex and the city, one of my guilty pleasures, i love that show. i have decided that i need a vacation, not a weekend trip, a few days off from life in general. since our new vacay times don't start until tomorrow, i have some time to think about what i would like to do. my car has been making a weird noise lately, i am pretty sure she is just mad at me for being a few miles over an oil change. miss rae used her potty for the first time in front of me, which i am so proud of! even though now she is obsessed with taking off her pants and wiping her butt. hopefully she wont randomly do that. she only has one more day of day care this week, she gets to spend my last days working with her gramma angie. her father left me a message yesterday, but i have no way of reaching him so who knows what will happen next there. we found a mouse in our house. gross i know, thankfully lindsy caught it and took care of it. rodents creep me out. well it is now almost midnight, and i am ready to go to bed. short day of work tomorrow, and then to my favorite place. gotta take care of some things. yay. goodnighttttttttttt

n.a.p.

Evalie is on her third day of trying to avoid taking a nap. at this very moment she is sitting on her bed looking at a book, chatting to herself. i just wonder how long this rebellious streak will last. we all know that she is a bear if she doesn't sleep for at least an hour. *sigh* here's to a fun night of crankiness and possibly an early bed time. on a brighter note, i have had all day off and am really enjoying doing almost nothing. i know that there is a long list of things i am supposed to be getting accomplished, but they can wait a few hours. my goals for 2011 are still waiting for me. i have been working out with Lindsy Lou and hopefully will fit my plump self into a bridesmaid dress this coming September. until then the search for a new place to live is in the process, and wishing that a new job would be too, but until the day that this happens i will be staying here... yay. well its time to release the child and let her destroy and then pick up our house. possibly make supper, though i am completely out of ideas. i mean there's only so much you can make with next to nothing.

2010 in a nut shell

i haven't been able to get on here in a very long time... 2010 was eventful but yet boring at the same time. in July i gained full time status of the love of my life, miss rae. in march we moved in with Lindsy in a small house in Princeton. i am still working in the optical department. i found a new day care lady, who evalie really enjoys seeing. she continues to spend Monday with my mom, my mom loves her gramma time. it hasn't been easy but some how i manage to hold everything together, i am so lucky to have the support of my family and friends. i haven't heard from evalie's dad in over a month now, i still don't get how he can go weeks without seeing her. the very thought of that breaks my heart. evalie has now learned a wide variety of words, her favorite of the moment is no. "would you like some juice?" "NO" "can i have a kiss?" "NO" "are you being crabby?" "NO" i can't help but smile. she's been very busy, getting into everything, having dance parties in the kitchen, and learning 'what's this' to whatever it is she's pointing at. it amazes me still how smart she is, and i am looking forward to her two year appointment in march-i know hard to believe she will be two!

Evalie and I at christmas time

I have a lot of plans for 2011, i just have to figure out what i need to do to get them accomplished. lindsy and mike got engaged over christmas, which means i need to find a new place to live. the thought of living on my own terrifies me, i have yet to have my own place. with this only 9 months away i need to figure out where i want to be and what job i need to find to afford living by myself. my other goal is to get things finalized with custody of evalie. i fear that her father will try and take her away from me again, i would fall apart and i dont want it to be like it was. having her only every other week. i would miss so much. but hopefully i won't have to worry about that. also to update this a little more often than i have been, so until next time....

sighness

thoughts of nothingness cross through my mind. how does one think of nothingness? the feeling is hard to explain. I am coming up to my 23rd year on this planet and looking back on the nothingness that is my life i wonder how things would've been different... i was supposed to get married in april, glad i'm not. i have a beautiful little girl, glad i do. but really what's bothering me? i do not know. It seems hard to think what things might've been. most days thoughts of getting away from minnesota, but where? i'm glad i have some things planned this spring, travel get away hopefully to a place with little cell phone reception. ha! miss rae turns one in march, can't believe that this year has gone by so fast! my love isn't with me always, its been hard, trying to think of different things to keep my mind off that fact. he irritates me, but in the end i'm the one that will have to deal with it the rest of my life. happy happy joy joy.

the sun is long gone
quietly whispers goodnight
soon she will return

been way too long!

i just realized that i haven't updated since june! well what's new in my life? I started my new job as an Optician, i really like my job. I am learning lot about eyes, who knows maybe i'll go back to school for something in the field. Evalie is 6 months already! Her newest thing is trying to walk all over. She gets frustrated because she wants to run every where but knows she can't yet. She'll walk all around the rooms, well holding on to our fingers:) she isn't real crawling yet she army crawls her way around the room. other than that she amuses herself by playing with her many toys her favorite being the activity table ellen gave her, it has lovely music that i could listen to all day-ha!

Just a few pics Evalie enjoys helping with laundry... hopefully some day i will trian her to do all the laundry-haha. not a lot of hair on her head but enough to put the bows i got in it, someday it'll grow in until then i'll just clump the few hairs together to form a bow.

Photographs and Memories

My baby girl at 4 months <3>


Evalie playin' with her feet, it amazes me what amazes her.


Well i think my baby is teething she chews on everything and is a little irritable lately but i still love her :)

Been a while

Well its June 15. I think the reason i haven't updated in a while is because Shanno hasn't been buggin me to see pictures of Evalie. Shanno and Rodrigo are home for those of you who didn't know. Our house was full, I still have to organize all the stuff that was shoved in my room...oops yay procrastination, but now they are staying at Sarah and Mikes. I have been working quite a bit, well it seems like it. Evalie is doing good still growing fast! Today she held her bottle all by herself! I know it was a small accomplishment but i am still proud:) she has been talking a lot more i think she finally realized that she could make the noises intentionally, before it was like she was trying soo hard just to say what was on her mind but nothing came out. Her naps are becoming fewer and she tries so hard to stay up-she doesn't want to miss anything! She has this odd obsession with staring at ceiling fans and dad's bright work shirt. Evalie is enjoying her time with auntie shanno and uncle ro. They have been watchin her when i am at work. One of my coworkers is going on vacation next week and that's when i was suppose to start my new position but instead of doing that i am stuck in my ugly green polo training for something i am only going to do once... woo hoo. but just smile and thank god i still have a job! Hmm... What else? I don't think i have anything else to say today. The above photo she's sitting in her chair just staring and trying to grab the turtle. Shanno decided to give her a piggy back ride she looks absolutely terrified. The last one was when shan was watching her at Sarah and Mikes Evalie just looked so happy!