me...: April 2009

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Pictures from Easter

What a pretty day!

Uncle Bob and Kade Gramma

Aunt Karen and Carl with the potato gun

Mom bringin out the kites

Aunt Karen brings all these toys

flying kites

Zoe on the roof and Brian's kite stuck in the tree

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Easter was a lot of fun this year, we had everyone come over to mom and dad's. Tiffany and Brian, Addy and Kade came from South Dakota, Aunt Karen came from Montana, Janine and Bob down from Duluth, it was just nice to have everyone together. The only one missing was Shanno but she'll be with us soon:)

This was before the easter bunny, a quick nap so she wouldn't be cranky, she screamed anyway. I think the easter bunny was a little nervous but he just bounced her and she was happy again.

Karen, Addy, Tiffany, and Evalie

Friday, April 24, 2009

An Update

Well Evalie is now a month old. Its crazy how much she has changed in the past weeks. I am amazed at how strong she is and how she is so alert. I wonder what she sees and what she dreams about. I still aww at her when she is sleeping that i don't think will ever change. I guess there are moments when i am about to go crazy its been pretty hard trying to raise her. I still feel alone even though everyone is here to help me. I have the support of my mother and father but even then i feel like this isn't the way it should be. In the ideal world i would be married and have someone to look after both of us. he's missing out on a lot though i am sure he doesn't realize it. i wonder if he thinks of us in the middle of the night when i am up with her-alone, when i feed her-alone, when we rock and she falls asleep with that cute little snore-alone. I feel that some day he will look back and know that he has missed the key moments of her life... her first smile or first funny noise, the sweet sound of her cry. the way she stares with those beautiful blue eyes wondering about the world and what it has in store for her. but i have faith that everything happens for a reason, there was a reason she was sent to me, maybe to make me grow up and think about caring for someone else or putting their needs in front of my own. Hopefully she will grow up to be a strong lil lady, and knows that her mom loves her. i think the hardest part has been my situation. i hope to soon be on my own and hope that i can make it. I am in search of an apartment but that isn't going as great as i want it to be. its hard to live with my parents i forget that i have to check in with them even though i am 21 years old and knows how to take care of myself, no one really understands what i am going through. I have a baby that needs to know who her father is and i am willing to let him see her, i don't think it would be fair to her to never know who her dad was. i just wish that it didn't have to be this way. the whole thing has been hard on me it sometimes doesn't matter what i do its going to upset someone, whether its my mom, adam, myself. i just get caught between everyones opinions on how i should go about this at the end of the day i am tired and alone.

Pictures

Visiting with Aunt Janine, Uncle Bob, and Aunt Amy

Rob and Amy Megan, Krista, Matthew, and Evalie

We had to time how long each girl got to hold her. Uncle Steve and Evalie

Matthew Mom, Andy, Isaac, Aunt Colleen, Emma, and Evalie

First great grandchild

Four generations

Kayla and Evalie Uncle Jeff

Jeff making her very upset just sittin suckin on my finger:)

New uncle Ryan Uncle Gary

Takin' a nap

First bath:)

Smiles in her sleep

sittin' in our bouncer maybe should put it away until she's a little bit bigger. Going for a walk gotta have the shades:)

Apologize

I apologize to everyone for deleting the previous posts i was angry and did it in the spur of the moment... but i am working on redoing my entire site so bear with me it will take a while...